Summarizing 2010

1. Did you do something this year that you never did before?
I started to work as a substitute teacher....?

2. Did you keep any of your new years promises?
Nope.

3. Did any of your friends become parents this year?
Nope! But I wish!

4. Did someone who was close to you died?
Noo :(

5. Which countries did you visit?
Turkey.

6. Is there anything you missed year 2010 that you want to have year 2011?
Money

7. Which date are you going to always remember from 2010 and why?
I think it was July 28 when something very bad happend which I don't want to mention here. But it's something I will never forget and I think I would always be reminded of the scene I saw.

8. What was your biggest success this year?
Hmm, it would be our association which me and some friends started and had a big success on our opening event.

http://scandinavianfashion.net/2010/12/22/a-new-planet-in-the-night-sky/

9. Biggest mistake?
To have bad timing for smoking. It caused some troubles.

10. Have you been sick or wounded this year?
I cut some cold now and then.

11. Best shop?
Wohow, haha this year I didn't shop that much. But all the movies I bought and some underwear.

12. What did you spend most your money on?
Bills bills bills. And also hair salons!

13. Was there anything which made you really happy?
Yes, the planning of our opening event and the future of our organization

14. Which song will always remind you about year 2010?
Robyn: Hang with me, Dancing on my own..everything by Marina and the Diamonds and all the cheesy songs from Glee!!

15. Were you happier or sadder this year compared to previous years?
I had my ups and downs but I became more calm at the end of the year.

16. What do you wish that you had done more?
Working out.

17. What did you wish that you had done less?
Smoking.

18. How did you spend the Christmas?
@ Ludvigs sisters, Lisas house.

19. Did you fall in love this year?
I'm in love with Ludvig all the time!

20. How many one night stands?
Many! Haha

21. Favourite TV-show?
Glee! I also rewatched Queer as Folk and I still love it love it love it!

22. Did you hate anyone who you didn't hate in the beginning of the year?
Oh yeah and it came as a surprise!

23. Best book you read this year?
Shit, I didn't read that much :/. I read "Kalla det vad fan du vill", again and well it was entertaining.

24. Biggest music discovery?
Marina and the Diamonds.

25. Something you wished for and got?
Nothing!

26. Something you wished for but didn't get?
Money!

27. This years best movie?
Gainsbourg was really good!

28. What did you do on your birthday?
I had a party in my apartment. It was pretty fun!

29. Is there anything that would make your year better?
More money. Or no, lots of money. I wanna be billionaire so fucking bad!

30. How would you describe your style year 2010?
Like myself. Funny leggings and big shirts. I also had long hair for the first time in years which I cut very short at the end of the year.

31. What made you feel good?
Friends, family and smart people!

32. Which celebrity made you turn on?!
Cory Monteith

33. Which political debate was most interesting?
The one about Wikileaks.

34. Who did you miss?
My father...always. I sometimes missed an old friend. I know it would never work out between us but in some situations I missed her opinions and her sense of pessimism.

35. The best people you met this year?
Olaf!! I met him first in 2009 but I got to know him this summer. One of the sweetest person on earth! Also Babak Parham, also one hell of a fun guy, none-judgmental and sweet person!

36. A worth full lesson you learned this year?
Be always forward to people and don't think people are best from the first meeting you have with them. They can always disappoint you. Also don't complain all the time and stop being so whiny. That's such a big turn off. Accept the fact that most people are stupid and they don't need to be your friends.

37. Quote a song lyric which summarizes your year?
"It's ok to say you got a weak spot,

You don't always have to be on top

Better to be hated,

Than loved, loved, loved for what you're not"

Summarizing 2009

1. Did you do something this year that you never did before?
I was on a radio show??

2. Did you keep any of your new years promises?
I never promise on new year. I usually wish. But, no, none of my wishes came true.

3. Did any of your friends become parents this year?
Hell no!

4. Did someone who was close to you died?
Not really, but one of my fathers cousins died who I really looked up to..
5. Which countries did you visit?
Holland. At the beginning of the year.

6. Is there anything you missed year 2009 that you want to have year 2010?
Better job and finding a school program which would lead me to my dream job. And most important, FINDING OUT WHAT MY FUCKING DREAM JOB IS!

7. Which date are you going to always remember from 2009 and why?
12th of June. It was the day millions of Iranians ran to the street after the election fraud to fight for their rights. Summer of 2009 will be the summer I'd never forget.

8. What was your biggest success this year?
I can't really call it a success but I learned to be more forward with people. And another "success" was me and Ludvigs songs! They are fucking awesome!

9. Biggest mistake?
I can't tell. But at this point I know someone got hurt and I wish with all my heart that it didn't happen.

10. Have you been sick or wounded this year?
Not really. Just some cold.


11. Best shop?
Nothing really.. maybe a pare of shoes I bought this summer which were killer!


12. What did you spend most your money on?
Cellphone bills !

13. Was there anything which made you really happy?
To see the solidarity between my people made me really really happy and proud for the first time.

14. Which song will always remind you about year 2009?
Animal by Miike Snow. Bulletproof by La Roux. Mammas Gata by Timbuktu. Day N Night by Kid Cudi. Head Shoulderz Kneez and Toez by KIIG. Uprising by Muse.

15. Were you happier or sadder this year compared to previous years?
There was lot of mixed feelings since 12 of June. But I can't say I was sad or happy. Neutral?

16. What do you wish that you had done more?
More struggling for the future. Quit smoking forever.

17. What did you wish that you had done less?
Talking.

18. How did you spend the Christmas?
@ Ludvigs sisters, Lisas house.

19. Did you fall in love this year?
Yes

20. How many one night stands?
Yeeehaa!

21. Favourite TV-show?
How I met your mother. Gossip Girl. Californication and Fonejacker!

22. Did you hate anyone who you didn't hate in the beginning of the year?
Yes, and I really hated that person in the beginning. Now I accept the fact that we just weren't really suitable for each other.

23. Best book you read this year?
I tried to read one of Haruki Murakamis books which took almost a year. After that I read Women without Men by my aunt, Shahrnush Parsipour again and I believe it's still one of the best books in history!

24. Biggest music discovery?
Miike Snow!

25. Something you wished for and got?
Nothing!

26. Something you wished for but didn't get?
A lot of things!

27. This years best movie?
That would be Avatar I guess.

28. What did you do on your birthday?
My sister was in town and played some records @ Re:Orient. I invited all of my friends and we had "almost" a blast.

29. Is there anything that would make your year better?
Off course. Lot of things. More action from other countries to supporting Iranian people is one of them. The rest of it is long.

30. How would you describe your style year 2009?
Weird as usual.

31. What made you feel good?
The song Animal by Miike Snow. One of the best that has happened in history!

32. Which celebrity made you turn on?!
Elly Jackson

33. Which political debate was most interesting?
What do you think??!!

34. Who did you miss?
My father as usual.

35. The best people you met this year?
Baharan, Golshan, Pooya, Mona, Anna, David, Sanna, Pooria, Yashar, Sareh, Morvarid, Roody.

36. A worth full lesson you learned this year?
That you gotta fight hard if you really wanna win.

37. Quote a song lyric which summarizes your year?
"This time we won't forget"

bitter times

It's funny how we people treat each other. It's funny how naive we can be. It's funny how blind you can be. You get one chance in this life, you think you got it forever. You think the most logical means is to alywas have RESPECT as your number one principe. And every single time you forget the fact that it's people it's all about. This is the world we're talking about and at this moment we should understand that a such a thing called Respect doesn't exist.


Internet is a funny thing. All of these people with blogs and facebook-status, only dare to open their minds and write the words they would never tell anyone in their faces.

From now on, I'm gonna remember this day: Wednesday, 2009/12/18 I decide to never ever let anyone treat me with disrespect. I promise myself now and forever that tell everything to everyone when it's time for it. I don't take shit from any one. Cause this is it. I had it.

I never believed in revenge. But whatever you do to me, I'll do exactly the same to you.

My baby

I click on Ludvigs profile on facebook. I see that he has made a comment on one of his friends photo album. I watch the friends photo album which is from Iran. Then I find Ludvigs comment under it:

"Iran skulle kunna vara ett underbart land... och jag hoppas att det blir det snart. Go green!"

Translation:

"Iran could be a wonderful country...and I hope it will soon be. Go green!"


And that't my boy and I love him, not only for that, for everything he is.

Please watch the video

I know it's a bit annoying when someone starts to share a lot of news, videos and political statements on facebook. But after the election fraud in Iran, 12th June, there were millions of Iranians on facebook, sharing everything that was happening right at that moment. So the videos made it feel like you were actually there. Correct me if I'm wrong, but none of us have ever seen anything like it. All these people running on the streets, shouting out their hate to the government and at the same time having their mobile cameras on so that the rest of the world can be with them. Correct me if I'm wrong. But you haven't seen it anywhere else.

So that's the reason it gets more exiting for us being from that certain country. We've been in that certain area or street. We know them. We hear what they're screaming and we scream it with them. We shout from our tiny room in front of out tiny laptop.

Now to the point. Yesterday was 13 Aban which is 4 November. On this day people decided to run out the streets once again, after being silent in a while and take some actions.
What happened was exactly the same that happened during this summer.


But please watch this video 'till the end. If it doesn't give you any feeling about how it really is, I think there is something wrong with you. AND: Don't you dare come and say : "but I don't understand what they're saying." You'll understand EVERYTHING.

Some thoughts...

I really don't wanna give this any attention but now when I find myself in the middle of this situation, I can't stop laughing cause it's so ironic.

You see, we have this party by the name Sverigedemokraterna which means Sweden Democrats. Their concept is -basically- to kick out the Muslims from Sweden.
Then we have this fact that Big Brother is now trying to oppress the Swedish society by feeding them bullshit about Islam. Making debates about Islam, hijab and brain dead shit like that. And I sometimes realize that Sweden has so many other problems which should be taken care of than bunch of Nazis trying to throw people out from this country while the society has to defend such a meaningless shit as Islam. No offense to Muslims who actually are spiritual and shit, all my respect to them. Everyone decides themselves how they wanna live and whatever if they've decided to follow some certain dude who wrote a book and sent it from some unknown place (we guess: heaven) to some other dude who had more than 10 wives and some of them were actually under aged. But still who the fuck cares. Poet says : The show must go on and every kind of person is included in this show otherwise life would be so boring.

Anyway. I am now someone who has fled from Islam. One of the reasons I'm here is to get rid of bullshit like that. Then I realize, Islam is as popular as alcohol in Sweden and you know what...whatever!
So I live my life as the way I want and then the Swedish Democrats emerge from some hill. And then my none-Swedish face makes me realize that I could also be taken as one Muslim. Then I also find myself sitting there defending Muslims. It's just so funny that I can't stop laughing. But I also have to wake up and realize that I shouldn't be part of this stupid game. Cause there are bigger issues to worry about. This is just a kind of opium that society throws on people to make them forget. Just like the hysteria about Anna Anka.


The world is unfortunately created this way. We have good and bad. Otherwise it would be only bad. And the Swedish Democrats and the Muslims (who are crazy in all the debates trying to babble about Mohammed and the other dude) are actually the same.

As a dear friend of mine once put it: These two groups should gather and sing "We shall overcome" together.

Suddenly I see

You've been in my dreams latley. Everytime I dream that you're back, I wake up happy to call you, but then realize you left us four years ago.

It's selfish of me, wanting you back for my own sake. There are so many things I wanna tell you now when four years has passed since I heard your voice for the last time.
You've been in my dreams and thoughts lately. Maybe because it was at this time of the year that we lost you. I try so hard to listen to other peoples talk about their fathers. When they happily leave the work or school to go out for lunch with their fathers. While I sit here, wishing that you never died. That you would come back, calling me and telling, "let's have lunch together".

Babayi if you were here, I would invite you to my apartment. I would tell all of my friends come and meet you. Cause how much I tell them how wonderful you were, it's not enough. No one can ever understand. Ever. The difference between you and all the other fathers in the world.

I tell people about you. I tell people you passed away and trying to make myself believe that this is what life is about. You will loose the closest people and then they will loose you. This is what this fucked life is all about.

It's been so long since I cried this way. But I miss you so much Babayi. You have no idea. I feel so broken right now. If I only could call you now and hear your voice. Babayi, why did you have to leave us?